Once upon a time, back in 1996, when I was young, enthusiastic and a bit more naive, I believed everything I read in print. Well, not actually everything -- I've seen enough stories in the Enquirer about Elvis, aliens, two-headed babies and the infamous Chernobel Chicken (don't ask). But generally, if something was printed in a book, and if that book was officially published -- that is, if it had an ISBN (the librarian in me just won't quit), if it was in colour and printed on glossy paper, and ultimately if you could get it in a major bookstore, well, as far as I was concerned, it was reputable and thus "legit". Case closed.
And so it came to pass, gentle reader, as I was diligently working on the X-ray Spex Webpage during the infancy stages of the Women of Punk Website extraveganza which has since become famous world-wide, that I looked to one of my many print sources for inspiration and perhaps a nice little passage that I could surreptitiously steal: and lo, I unexpectedly came across what I thought of as a mega bombshell: according to the Spin Alternative Record Guide, page 441 to be precise, Spex bassist Paul Dean was the same Paul Dean who later went on to form the Canadian "cheese-metal" (their wording) group, Loverboy. Yes, the same Loverboy who sent us running for cover with songs like Hot Girls in Love and Working for the Weekend. Cheese metal indeed. Now was this the scoop of the century or what! Who could believe (and I admit, even I was a tad sceptical at first) that the bassist for a relatively obscure Britpunk band with an off-key sax went on to become our arena-rocking Canadian guitarist of the red-leather pants?
Well, naturally, I incorporated this tidbit into my Spex bio -- how could I not? And needless to say, as I did so, I was feeling more than just a bit smug, more than a trifle pleased with myself. Yessiree, I was just a-pattin' myself on the back and congratulatin' myself for being such a super sleuth; I was just so damn proud of myself, having dug up this wee little trivia gem which no-one before me had managed to discover before (except for the author of the Spex article in my Spin Guide, of course).
Well, boys and girls, we now come to the sad part of this tale where I admit that I am now considerably more cynical, jaded, and worn-out than I was four short years ago. Yes, running a Website will do that to you, not to mention divorce and bad golf days. But I digress. Ultimately, it came as no big surprise (an anticlimax, if the truth be known) when I received that fated email from a friend of the wife of Paul Dean (the Spex-ter, not the Lover), telling me something (although perhaps in nicer words) that I, and probably hundreds of other happy Web surfers, suspected deep down all along: that the Spin Alternative Record Guide was full of shit.
Read on:
This statement is on your site:
...bassist Paul Dean, who later went on to form the Canadian cheese-metal group Loverboy (believe it or not: my source is the very reputable Spin Alternative Record Guide, page 441) [the words have come back to haunt me! -Rina].
I just thought I'd let you know that that is definitely not true. I just got off the phone with his wife to make doubly sure. I don't think he's ever even been to Canada. However, he is alive and well and living in Leytonstone, London.
Just thought I'd letcha know!
Suzanne
So there you have it. The great Paul Dean conspiracy, debunked. And I didn't even nee Mulder and Scully to help me, although I am forever grateful to Suzanne. I hereby humbly ask for everyone's forgiveness. And I promise to never believe anything I see in print ever again. Even if it is printed on glossy paper.
As an encore, I received the following message(s) right after the initial one from Suzanne. Read and enjoy:
Hey, Rina, I thought you might want to see this series of e-mail exchanges. My dogged attempt to disprove your impossible but seemingly credible claim that Paul Dean, bassist for X-Ray Spex, and Paul Dean, arena-rocking guitarist for Loverboy in the '80s, were one and the same. Read from the bottom for maximum coherence.
Cheers,
From: Josh
The more I thought about it, the more it couldn't be true. Especially given Paul's apparent participation in the 1995 X-Ray Spex reunion. Why would the guitarist from Loverboy abandon his no doubt plush retirement and fly halfway around the world to celebrate some brief, glorious flash in the history of punk rock? Besides, if "Hot Girls in Love" is an accurate indicator, I suspect the Canadian Paul Dean does think little girls should be seen and not heard.
[Note: This last comment is cleverer than it seems, if just barely. X-Ray Spex's best-known single begins with singer Poly Styrene hollering, "Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard. But we say, Oh bondage! Up yours!" Like I said, just barely. -Ed]
Anyway, thanks for setting my mind at ease. Although I admit it's a bit of a disappointment to lose the irony of my listening to X-Ray Spex and Essential Logic in high school while my girlfriend, now my wife, was inexplicably fanatical about the other Paul Dean's band, red leather pants and all. It would have been a hilarious coincidence. But still, I'm happy to hear that the real Paul Dean is safe and well in Leytonstone, raising kids and making his way in life, and not plotting a comeback for the appropriately dormant pop-metal genre at some Monsters of Rock 2000 tour.
Best,
From: Suzanne
Hi.
I just had a chat with Paul's wife, just to be sure, and she confirmed that it is definitely not the same Paul Dean. Paul lives in Leytonstone now with his wife and 2 kids, works in the financial industry, and is still a really nice guy (and never bears his chest hair, as far as I know!).
Best regards,
Josh Cochrane wrote:
One of the X-Ray Spex fan sites (http://www.comnet.ca/~rina/xrayspex.html) swears (the shame, the shame .... -Rina), citing some Spin record guide or other, that Spex bassist Paul Dean is the same Paul Dean who later bared his chest hair and crunched out power chords for the arena-rockers Loverboy. This cannot be true. It cannot be true because it is absurd, so
absurd it's funny. Ha ha! I'm laughing! Unless it is true. Which it can't be. Tell me it's not true. I know it's not true, but still, tell me. It's not true. Right?
Josh
Josh
Sent: Wednesday, May 17, 2000 10:51 AM
To: Suzanne
Josh
To: Josh
Sent: Wednesday, May 17, 2000 6:44 AM
Suzanne